To be honest, when we arrived back in Europe on April 11th, I wasn’t thrilled. It felt like a signal that the trip was over. Or close to. We had spent the better part of a decade exploring Europe so it felt like the new, exciting, challenging, unknown travel was coming to an end. And I wasn’t ready. I am not ready for the trip to end, and I definitely do not feel ready to spend a month in Germany before we can start life in the US.

I am sad that our 12-month adventure has been whittled down to a 10-month trip, but I guess it is fitting that we end with one month in our old home (well, not our actual house there but the area) and then one month in our new home. And sometimes logistics and rational thinking win out. Such is life.

At the time, we had seven more weeks of travel (which could have been 11 without the time in Germany), and I would have rather spent them exploring Africa or South America, but there are six of us on this trip and, to be frank, I had made most of the “where to?” decisions for the last 8 months. It was time to let the others lead. So back to Europe it was. For the familiarity. For the ease. To be in the same time zone as all those dearly missed friends. And then eventually back to those friends and family for a bit. Which I can understand. This trip hasn’t been smooth or easy by any means.

None of us are outgoing, and we haven’t had those experiences of meeting new life-long friends at every port, so we have pretty much spent 24/7 as a group of six since late July. Ask any one of us and our trip highlights have been the days we’ve spent with friends and family along the road.

Homeschooling has not been a home run, with most days involving some sort of conflict and push-back and second-guessing on someone’s part. Are the girls learning anything? Will they be able to re-enter traditional schooling? Should we forget about the textbooks and focus solely on experiences? Are we limiting their future options by not having them participate in music, sports and other extracurricular activities this year?

There was never a point on the road where we looked at each other and said, “let’s just keep going.” On any given day, at least one child knows exactly how many days we’ve been gone or how many days until we land back in Germany, which is a clear indication that this is not a lifestyle that they want for any longer than already planned. And this has all been hard for me to accept. But I’m getting there.

There have been, of course, a million amazing moments that have made all the struggles during this trip worth it. I’ve written about those in all the previous posts so won’t go into them here. I’m so glad we did this trip, but I also acknowledge that it needs to have an end. It has an end that’s coming near and that needs to be okay. We are going back to “normal life” to set the girls up with high school diplomas and college degrees and opportunities to explore what interests them individually so they can live their best, independent lives. They are all very different and need space to grow their wings, something we can’t give them when travelling full-time.

Just because this big adventure is ending, and it is likely our last big adventure as a family of six, it does not need to be my last big adventure and it surely will not be the girls’. They have plans they are already forming. Plans to climb Mt Fuji. Plans to bike across the US. Plans to visit every one of the 50 US states. Plans to rescue all the stray dogs of the world. Plans to live their dreams, and we will be in the background, supporting in whatever way we can.

And maybe one day, when the girls and Steffen are spending their summers in Germany visiting friends and family, I’ll get my seven to eleven weeks in South America, volunteering in a rural school or working in conservation, living another big adventure. Or maybe our first few years of retirement are in a van, exploring every national park the US has to offer. Or maybe Hannah and I hop on a plane one day and go on that African safari she’s been dreaming about since she was two. Or maybe I’ll just do it all.

Before life gets real again and we close the book on this trip, we do have some fun to look forward to. Most notably, time with my sisters and aunt in Scotland and Ireland which we are all very excited about. The best way to end this big adventure!

And, spoiler alert. Europe isn’t so bad after all.